motherhood

When I think of all the emotions I associate with motherhood, most are really wonderful…love, empathy, pride, hope. But another biggie creeps in… guilt.

Over and over I see wonderful mothers who can’t help but blame themselves for all of their child’s woes. When my son was only 15 months old, he sliced his hand on a can I had just thrown in the trash. I saw him go for it, but didn’t get there in time to stop him. He needed six stitches. I was fairly calm under the circumstances, but I knew it was my fault. Just like all the other mothers I see with injured children, I was blaming myself. I was guilty.

We know who we are. Did we feed them enough or too much? Are they warm or cool enough? Is the house clean enough? Too clean, too scheduled, too much?

I don’t really know where all that negative stuff comes from (maybe our mothers?), but I do know we don’t have to keep up the tradition. I spend the better part of my day reassuring parents that they are doing the right thing. And usually, they really are. It also turns out that our children will thrive in spite of us, in spite of themselves. Work for a balance as best you can, but try to leave guilt out of it.

Guilt ranks right up there with other stress hormones and they all take a big toll on our well being. Just say NO to guilt, and mean it. No, I won’t feel guilty or take responsibility for every failing, every problem my family encounters. Keep your sense of humor and life’s little crises won’t seem so bad.

Check out a few good books on the subject, like Motherhood without Guilt, by Debra Rosenberg or Mommy Guilt, by Julie Bort, Aviva Pflock and Devra Renner. If you don’t feel guilty anymore, your family won’t have to feel guilty for making you feel guilty. Then everyone feels better. Hooray!

More articles by Dr. Pat in Healthy Lifestyle.

Photo courtesy of Sourcebooks, Inc.

Having children has been the single largest life-changing event for me. It reaches far beyond the obvious into how I see the world and the people in it. The love and vulnerability that I experienced the first time I held my babies is indescribable. As a mother I have made a lifetime commitment to my children, to love them and to be there for them, no matter what happens, no exceptions.

After having children, when I see a homeless person I think, “that is somebody’s baby,” and my heart goes out to them.

When they ask for money, do I always give it? No, not always . . . until now. A couple weeks ago, I was traveling on business and I was lost. I was in a big city, standing on a busy corner with my GPS trying to talk on my cell phone, late for an important meeting, and a homeless man came up to me and asked for money. I shook my head no and turned my back to him. As I found my building and was riding up the elevator to the thirteenth floor, I thought to myself “is this meeting more important than helping that man?” The answer was no. Nothing is more important than another person, no matter what the story is . . .

Jennie Lynn Johanson is the founder and designer of an haute diaper bag collection adorably named Bumble Bags. Her prominent background as a handbag designer helped her pave her way into embarking upon her creative niche in the diaper bag industry. Jennie’s handbags had so much fashion appeal she received a request from a customer to design a diaper bag. She was on the mad search for a stylish and functional bag for contemporary mothers. Jennie honored her request, and today these posh bags have been spotted buzzing around in outdoor shopping centers, walks in the parks, special occasions as well as the “Queen Bee” of baby shower gifts all over the the US.

Bumble Bags are a collection of sophisticated, lightweight diaper bags created with exclusive one-of-a-kind, hand-designed prints. The moment you are introduced to a Bumble Bag you are immediately charmed by its command to touch and feel, toss over your shoulder and watch yourself coo over its beauty. Bumble Bags are not just another pretty face, they are heavily equipped with function. Each bag is stroller friendly, machine washable, special stain resistant with a soil proof lining and have a widened shoulder control strap for comfort.

Who says mama has to forfeit sass and style to indulge in functional diapering gear? Certainly not the popular moms of Hollywood… recently in People Magazine’s Style Watch, a new favorite “Buttercup Bliss” was featured! A few famous mamas adorned by Bumble Bags are Sheryl Crow, Heidi Klum, Jennifer Garner, Naomi Watts and most recently Christina Aguilera purchased one of Bumble’s newest additions, an “On the Go” changing kit. This is one of Jennie’s newest additions to the Bumble Collection and is available in seven prints. Matching accessories such as car seat covers and small and large snack bags are also available for purchase as these prints are all so delicious you do not have to limit yourself to just one!

Kimberly Tote in Cappucino Dot, available at Bumble Bags.

Happiness is a hip mama with a hot bag . . . .

Katie Holmes used running as a way to lose baby weight, and it certainly seemed to work for her—she looks fantastic. But, is that really such a big deal? Lots of women have babies and get back into fabulous shape via exercise.

Well, she not only ran, but trained for the New York City marathon while jetsetting across the globe with hubby Tom Cruise and baby Suri and hitting red carpets and parties. Oh, and through all that, she kept her marathon plans totally under the radar. Still unimpressed?

She finished the marathon in under five and a half hours, a nice pace for first timer (and if you’re not impressed by that, try running one). And just in case you’re not impressed just yet, get this—just hours after completing the 26.2 mile run, Katie was out and about in heels for the Lions for Lambs premiere. While 40,000 others might have started the marathon alongside her, I wonder how many ended the night in something other than bedroom slippers …

Photo from People.com