health

As a mother, supermodel Christy Turlington is fully aware of just how important it is for mothers to receive quality health care, and she’s campaigning to get better health care for women around the world.

Every minute, a woman dies in labor, so Christy, along with Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, went to Washington, D.C. to convince leaders to create legislation designed to help women who have difficult experiences with pregnancy and/or childbirth.

Christy is no stranger to humanitarian causes. She’s been working in Washington to bring more attention to the issue of maternal health, and she’s also an ambassador for CARE, an organization working on the global food crisis. The goal of CARE is two-fold — first, to get families the food they need in order to survive right now, and secondly, to help communities create solutions for the future.

Photo courtesy of askmen.com

When I think of all the emotions I associate with motherhood, most are really wonderful…love, empathy, pride, hope. But another biggie creeps in… guilt.

Over and over I see wonderful mothers who can’t help but blame themselves for all of their child’s woes. When my son was only 15 months old, he sliced his hand on a can I had just thrown in the trash. I saw him go for it, but didn’t get there in time to stop him. He needed six stitches. I was fairly calm under the circumstances, but I knew it was my fault. Just like all the other mothers I see with injured children, I was blaming myself. I was guilty.

We know who we are. Did we feed them enough or too much? Are they warm or cool enough? Is the house clean enough? Too clean, too scheduled, too much?

I don’t really know where all that negative stuff comes from (maybe our mothers?), but I do know we don’t have to keep up the tradition. I spend the better part of my day reassuring parents that they are doing the right thing. And usually, they really are. It also turns out that our children will thrive in spite of us, in spite of themselves. Work for a balance as best you can, but try to leave guilt out of it.

Guilt ranks right up there with other stress hormones and they all take a big toll on our well being. Just say NO to guilt, and mean it. No, I won’t feel guilty or take responsibility for every failing, every problem my family encounters. Keep your sense of humor and life’s little crises won’t seem so bad.

Check out a few good books on the subject, like Motherhood without Guilt, by Debra Rosenberg or Mommy Guilt, by Julie Bort, Aviva Pflock and Devra Renner. If you don’t feel guilty anymore, your family won’t have to feel guilty for making you feel guilty. Then everyone feels better. Hooray!

More articles by Dr. Pat in Healthy Lifestyle.

Photo courtesy of Sourcebooks, Inc.

The refreshing taste of citrus is so nice in the water served at your favorite restaurant…or is it?

Recent reports of a study in the Journal of Environmental Health have revealed that the lemon slice or wedge served with the water in restaurants is contaminated with disease-causing bacteria about 70% of the time. This doesn’t mean people get sick that often, but I don’t find that very reassuring.

The study found that servers usually do not use gloves or tongs when adding a lemon slice or wedge to the glass, causing contamination when hands are dirty. This is not only unsanitary, but violates the health code in many regions.

Must we forego even that little slice of luxury when eating out? The risk seems to be low, but now the whole idea seems quite unappealing.

I guess it just comes down to personal choice. For me it’s going to be…
“Water please, no lemon.“

More Dr. Pat…

While bullying isn’t new, in recent years it has come into the forefront in schools across our county. The news depicts plenty of escalating bullying behaviors that have tragically ended in school shootings or suicide. Between 15-25% of U.S. students report that they experience bullying with some frequency, and surprisingly 15-20% of students report that they engage in bullying others (see stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov). As a principal, I take bullying very seriously and a few years back adopted a school wide Bully Free Zone policy. Bullying hurts both the person who is allowed to bully and his/her victims. It is as insidious as gossip and is often difficult to control if allowed to go unchallenged for an extended period of time. If bullying is to stop at schools, it has to start with a serious commitment on the part of school officials, teachers and students. First, students need a clear understanding of exactly what bullying is: repeated physical acts that hurt, spreading rumors, being exclusive (cliques), mean, or “gang-type” activities. While some bullying is overt and easily detected, it seems the subtler bullying can almost be more hurtful as it is easy to miss, and its constant pecking away at a young person’s soul can take a serious toil.

We start our school year by openly and honestly discussing/defining bullying. Just opening up and actually saying the word “bullying” in front of students has allowed many important discussions to begin. Once we have determined our definition, we then talk about what we are going to do about it: what behaviors we will accept as a student body, and what behaviors we will not. It is mind-boggling how quickly even the youngest children are able to clarify right from wrong. They know what behaviors/words scare them and they are just waiting for the adults to step up and help set the rules: AND stick with them. Schools need to play hardball against bullying. I then ask every teacher and student to take a pledge against bullies: if you want to be a bully, you will have to go to school somewhere else. No bullies allowed. Period. You can hear a clear collective sigh of relief in our school auditorium. Our school is different. Everyone is safe. It is amazing what children can do when they feel safe.

Next steps? Concrete ideas? Hang on until next week, as this post is the start of a series. Next week I will explore what you can do as a parent. If you have a question, I would love to answer!