cultivating happiness

By now I think almost everyone has heard of The Complaint Free World (if you haven’t, check out the website and you can request a free bracelet.) I absolutely love the concept and loved how a small group of people were able to make such a huge impact across the United States.

Last August we started our school year by passing out and donning the purple Complaint Free bracelets, and soon realized that not complaining was a little harder than we thought. It is so easy to head down the complaint path without even realizing it. At some level, complaining feels like a release of pent up frustration, but what if we allowed positive emotions to do the same?

I just read a great article this morning suggesting just that in the San Francisco Chronicle Magazine. Kathy Seligman’s article, “Cultivating Happiness” asserts that positive psychology, some genetics and gratitude intervention can teach our kids to be happy. I love the concept of “cultivating happiness” with our children as it moves us away from complaints to focusing on the positive.

As today is New Year’s Day, my resolution will surely focus on being a mom who cultivates happiness in her home, with her husband and with her children. I spent the morning digging out our purple bracelets, and last night at midnight we put them back on as a reminder to look at life with our glasses half full.

Happy New Year!

Have you ever had someone do something nice for you that was totally unexpected? I read on my Starbucks cup of such an act that happened at a drive-thru Starbucks. A driver chose to pick-up the tab for the car behind him. What happened next was a chain reaction in that for the following seven (7) cars, each driver chose to pay for the next person. I LOVED that story.

I do think that kindness can be contagious. Do you have a story where someone showed you unexpected kindness or a story where you had an opportunity to be the instigator of such an event?

I encourage you to be “an instigator” and report back on just how creative you are . . . . . karma my friend!

“Carpe diem, Seize the day . . . “ Horace

Some of my best ideas come from children. Take today for example. While gathered around with family, my ten year-old daughter and my eight year-old nephew sequestered themselves in the dining room. When I inquired as to what they were doing, they informed me they were creating an art show. About an hour later they emerged announcing that admission to the show would be $0.25 per person. They had painstakingly labeled each piece of art with a ticket ranging from 5 cents to a dollar. When we entered the exhibit, we each wandered around selecting the pieces we would like to buy. When all was said and done, each adult had one painting from each artist. The children then decided they would donate a portion of their earnings to charity. Wow. The television was off, and time was spent painting, learning a little about economics, and having fun.

As adults, we often try to plan events and activities for our children. Today, I was again reminded that children have so many creative ideas on their own - we don’t always need to give directions. Children need to have ‘down time’ to create and problem-solve on their own, and in our busy world, most children have their schedules planned out for them. So during this two-week vacation, enjoy the wonder of your children and let them explore. I know you will be surprised with what they come up with…I would love to hear what your children teach you!

On a whim, I entered and won Miss Sonoma County when I was a 17 year-old senior in high school. Just like most girls that age, I was insecure with my looks and almost a little embarrassed that I actually won. As I prepared for Miss California (which I didn’t win), I was scheduled to be photographed by a fairly well-known photographer. As I went through make-up and as the photographer set-up to take my picture, I was nervous. I’m not sure what I said, but I must have alluded to the fact that I wasn’t “that pretty.” I’m sure I was looking for reassurance.

Instead of telling me what I wanted to hear, “oh you are so pretty,” he told me what I needed to hear, and it has stayed with me, and is “the best” beauty advice I have ever received. Here is what he said:

“There is always going to be somebody who is prettier than you and there is always going to be someone who is not as pretty as you. Furthermore, beauty is subjective and what is pretty to one is not to another. Instead of focusing on whether or not you are attractive by social standards, focus on the inside.”

Yes, it may sound cliché, but as an impressionable teenager I took it to heart. After all, he was a “famous photographer.” He went on to say, “if you define yourself by how you look you will never be secure. Rather, define who you are by what you believe in and what you stand for.”

“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.” Coco Chanel

I recently wrote about Britney Spears and promptly received a call from a dear friend. She was concerned that it might reflect poorly on ChatterBox to mention Britney as her reputation is somewhat tarnished. I too cannot escape the never-ending trail of pictures and tid-bits about Britney in the press. I do not deny that by all accounts it appears that she could be making better choices.

The point of Princess Diana and Britney Spears is . . . it is never too late to change. Every person, every day makes choices that ultimately add up to his/her destiny. Britney is young, a mere twenty-six years old. It has been a bumpy road, but on any given day she can make a choice to do things differently. Yes, she has the paparazzi chasing her. Yes, she lives in a fish bowl. But, so did Princess Diana and look how she used her power for good.

The comparison between Princess Diana and Britney Spears came to mind because at this time, Britney Spears sells more magazines than any other celebrity. Jennifer Aniston and a few others are close behind. I thought back to other notable times when a celebrity presence in the press was at an all time high. I thought about Princess Diana’s wedding and when she passed away. Granted we are talking about the “People’s Princess,” the “Queen of Hearts,” the “Princess of Wales.” While there are many reasons to admire Princess Diana, her desire to help people is what endeared her to me the most. What an excellent role model for someone who has “the power” and “the choice” and only needs direction.

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” Albert Schweitzer

Britney image sonybmg

Happiness is a new day and a fresh start . . .

You may ask, what do Princess Diana and Britney Spears have in common? Actually a handful of things: high profile, beautiful, blond, two sons . . . but the one thing that stands out most in my mind is the “power of the press.”

Princess Diana was photographed constantly (like Britney Spears). She, however, chose to use her visibility to help people and to bring visibility to causes that might otherwise never be covered by the press. Credited in helping to breakdown the prejudices associated with HIV, she said, “HIV does not make people dangerous to know, so you can shake their hands, and give them a hug. What’s more you can share their homes, their workplaces and their playgrounds and toys.” Lady Harlech noted, “She was the first important person in Britain to show you can touch an AIDS victim and not catch it. One cannot overestimate the importance of what Princess Diana did that day.”

Princess Diana reached out to landmine victims, alcohol and drug addicts, the homeless, those with leprosy and many more. She was photographed talking, touching and hugging the untouchables, the social outcasts and those who needed it most.

Princess Diana is quoted as saying, “Helping people in need is a good and essential part of my life, a kind of destiny. Everybody needs to be valued. Everyone has the potential to give something back.”

Britney Spears has had a tough year. She is twenty-six years old; ten years younger than Princess Diana when she died. While many have criticized her recent choices, it is not over. Her face on the cover of a magazine generates more sales than 99% of the celebrities out there. She, like Princess Diana, has the power of the press. Just imagine what she could do if she chose Princess Diana as a role model and used her power for good.

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” Japanese Proverb

I’m rooting for her!

Diana image abc.net.au, Britney image sonybmg

Happiness is having a good role model . . .