1. Stand up for yourself. Verbally express that you do not like what is happening. Using “I” statements are great, such as, “I feel ___ when you talk to me like that. Please don’t do it again.” Many young bullies will leave a child alone once he/she is stood up to by the child. Also, we as a society need to stand up to this poor behavior if it is to change. Far too many bullies have been allowed to hide, making the behavior seem acceptable. Encourage your child to come home from school and talk to you about it.

2. If it happens again, immediately have your child tell the teacher or a yard supervisor. Give an adult at school the opportunity to learn about the situation and make appropriate consequences. Again, encourage your child to tell you about it.

3. If the bullying behavior continues, set up an appointment to met with your child’s teacher. It is important that your child feel supported and safe throughout the process.

We start our school year by openly and honestly discussing/defining bullying. Just opening up and actually saying the word “bullying” in front of students has allowed many important discussions to begin. Once we have determined our definition, we then talk about what we are going to do about it: what behaviors we will accept as a student body, and what behaviors we will not. It is mind-boggling how quickly even the youngest children are able to clarify right from wrong. They know what behaviors/words scare them and they are just waiting for the adults to step up and help set the rules: AND stick with them. Schools need to play hardball against bullying. I then ask every teacher and student to take a pledge against bullies: if you want to be a bully, you will have to go to school somewhere else. No bullies allowed. Period. You can hear a clear collective sigh of relief in our school auditorium. Our school is different. Everyone is safe. It is amazing what children can do when they feel safe.

Next steps? Concrete ideas? Hang on until next week, as this post is the start of a series. Next week I will explore what you can do as a parent. If you have a question, I would love to answer!

Inevitably, in these days of extreme cutbacks at schools, every teacher spends money from his/her own pocket to go above and beyond for children. I am humbled by the extraordinary nature of teachers. In this mixed up world where we honor someone who can sing more than we do a teacher, maybe this Valentine’s Day would be the perfect time to share the love with your child’s teacher. Speaking from “the inside,” most teachers have more mugs than they know what to do with, and they can’t eat 20 boxes of chocolates. So what about doing something unexpected? A handwritten thank you card from you and your child would be so appreciated, as this personal touch would let her know how much you both care. I still have thank you cards tucked away from my days as a teacher, and occasionally I get them out. They make me cry, and smile, thinking back on a particular child. They also remind me why I got into this business in the first place.

In addition, I plan on tucking in a bottle of Lovely Body Lotion because I love the product, the packaging, and the way it says, “Indulge in something special for yourself! You deserve it!” I can’t imagine a teacher who wouldn’t be tickled pink!

1. Have your children make Valentine cards this year instead of buying boxed cards. Paper lace hearts always work well as the base of the card, and they look beautiful once garnished with stickers. Make sure you have a card for EVERY child in the class, and don’t forget the teacher. Schools are starting to steer away from candy, so consider omitting it this year.

2. Plan a small Valentine’s Day Cookie Making Party. This has been a tradition in our home since our daughter was two. We invite 9 friends who are all asked to wear red, pink, purple or white. Each guest is also asked to donate one jar of his/her favorite sprinkles. About a week before the party my children and I bake about 100 different sized heart sugar cookies and stick them in the freezer On the day of the party our home is decorated with a zillion paper hearts, balloons, and streamers. When guests arrive they sit and decorate cookies until their hearts are content. Keep the day simple: no favors, no games, no gifts, no lunch, just a simple meal of cookies and milk- does it get any better than that? We also limit the time of the party to an hour, which is plenty of time to decorate, admire our creations, and eat. We write each child’s name on a paper plate so he/she can carry the extra cookies made home.

3. Make a handmade card for loved ones this year. I always stick a Valentine under their pillows so they find them on Valentine’s morning.

If you have any other creative ways to make Valentine’s Day fun, I would love to hear!

Happiness is brightly colored sugar sprinkles all over my kitchen table!

1. Reading should be the MOST important “homework” a child does every evening. Depending on age, children should read a minimum of 20 minutes per evening up to 30 minutes (or more). If your child is a struggling reader, this time can include mom or dad reading a page aloud and the child reading a page. The goal is to instill a love for learning, so seek out books that are interesting and not overwhelming.

2. Keep homework stress free by establishing consistency. Have your child complete his/her homework in the same designated spot each day. Having a good work space stocked with necessary supplies helps children stay focused while working.

3. Establish a consistent time for homework. After a short snack/play break, homework should be the first thing completed at home. If homework is left until after dinner or right before bedtime, it can be a struggle due to fatigue and lack of interest. Many children have sports or other activities right after school, which can make the evening a little more difficult, so plan ahead to get larger assignments out of the way, and start homework right when you get home.

4. If your child is struggling with a particular assignment that seems to be taking too long, or is causing tears/stress, write a note to the teacher at the top of the page and have your child arrive to class a few minutes early to explain the problem and ask for help. Teachers don’t want children working on assignments until all hours of the night, and want to know if a particular problem/assignment was too difficult.

Stay calm while you help your child complete homework and allow your child to do the work. Don’t allow homework to create tension at home, and if it does, don’t hesitate to contact your child’s teacher.

Desk available at Pottery Barn Kids.

National Treasure- both my three year old and ten year old loved this one. Great adventure (although very far fetched) that will keep little ones, and older ones, entertained.

Alvin and the Chipmunks- cute heartwarming story that kept my three year old on the
edge of his seat. A little long, but a fun flick.

The Golden Compass- too mature for young ones (as it is rated PG-13) but my ten year old LOVED IT!!! This is the first PG-13 movie I have allowed her to see, but she says it is now one of her favorites, and it prompted some interesting family discussions. Worthwhile for the older crew.

We would love to hear some of your family movie favorites from the holidays.

Last August we started our school year by passing out and donning the purple Complaint Free bracelets, and soon realized that not complaining was a little harder than we thought. It is so easy to head down the complaint path without even realizing it. At some level, complaining feels like a release of pent up frustration, but what if we allowed positive emotions to do the same?

I just read a great article this morning suggesting just that in the San Francisco Chronicle Magazine. Kathy Seligman’s article, “Cultivating Happiness” asserts that positive psychology, some genetics and gratitude intervention can teach our kids to be happy. I love the concept of “cultivating happiness” with our children as it moves us away from complaints to focusing on the positive.

As today is New Year’s Day, my resolution will surely focus on being a mom who cultivates happiness in her home, with her husband and with her children. I spent the morning digging out our purple bracelets, and last night at midnight we put them back on as a reminder to look at life with our glasses half full.

Happy New Year!

As adults, we often try to plan events and activities for our children. Today, I was again reminded that children have so many creative ideas on their own - we don’t always need to give directions. Children need to have ‘down time’ to create and problem-solve on their own, and in our busy world, most children have their schedules planned out for them. So during this two-week vacation, enjoy the wonder of your children and let them explore. I know you will be surprised with what they come up with…I would love to hear what your children teach you!