Two Words that Should NEVER Go Together: Cockail Shorts

Once upon a time, people used to arrange their days around meals, which were less about eating than they were about being social. I find that in my day, I still look forward to similar social rituals: morning coffee (which I drink alone), afternoon tea (shared with my children), and an evening cocktail (with my husband). And while I don’t usually change out of my Mom Uniform for any of these little moments of civility, I like the idea that there are actual clothes — the cocktail dress, for example — designed around these rituals.

However, I draw the line at merging the Mom Uniform and the Cocktail Dress, particularly since the merger has lead to (I shudder to type it) Cocktail Shorts.

Yes, really.

Cocktail shorts offend every fiber of my being. Shorts are not cocktail attire; shorts are what you wear to a barbecue, for example, or to any event that will involve being outdoors or tossing a football or chasing small children. Cocktails call for grown-up clothes, pieces that do not permit running or climbing. To attempt to recreate shorts as cocktail attire is an insult to the Little Black Dress and all it stands for.

Cocktail shorts are also an insult to shorts, which are, after all, the perfect casual wear. It really IS possible to dress your shorts up by pairing them with a lovely blouse and some pretty shoes, but shorts are still casual wear, and casual wear — pieces that are specifically for lounging on weekends — is an important part of any wardrobe. To merge the two, to say that making shorts out of silk or satin and pairing them with stiletto heels makes them suddenly dressy, takes all the fun out of wearing shorts.

The whole idea of cocktail shorts as a viable trend is enough to make me start dressing for dinner.  Honestly.

Photo courtesy of Instyle.com.